Thursday, February 24, 2011


i did somthing this morning i never do. run.

it felt good.

and cold and slushy.

Friday, February 18, 2011


i dont really know what to say but i think i want to say something.

glad im here.
have drank (drunk??) millions of cups of tea
ate enough sugary yum-yums to keep me alive for three weeks
got flipped off by a man i tried to let merge into my lane
bought a pair of high waisted mom pants im a little apprehensive to pull off
was super excited to watch Titanic, and then fell asleep within the first hour
ate an entire bag of sour belts by myself
looked at the beautiful mountains that are being covered in snow
bought christy $6 frozen yogurt that was just mediocre
had christy paint my toes red
slept terribly good
watched "its kind of a funny story"
it wasn't funny. but it was still good
kind of missing my sister
learned i hate driving in places i dont know where im going

that is pretty much my day/last night.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


ok. so i am done with packing but, of course, i cannot sleep. i now leave in 9 hours and im feeling very restless. so there is something that has been bothering me. this might not make any sense and i might not even end up posting this, but i feel like i need to say something. ok. here it goes.

so i sell clothes. before that i worked as a lifeguard and i taught swim lessons even before that. super rewarding jobs. in both of my previous jobs i had the important job of keeping people safe. it was a little intense. for many different reasons, i left my job doing swim stuff and started working retail. to put it lightly, i have struggled immensely with the past 5 months in this job. not because the work was difficult or the people were mean, just because i felt selfish and sneaky trying to sell people clothes when they clearly dont. all the interaction is very artificial and not personal. i was very unhappy with my current situation and i wondered why i was there. i had prayed for this job, i felt this was where i was called, i accepted it, yet i did not feel like i was being a productive in impacting others. then this happened.

i woke up and realized how broken people are.

last night work was very slow. there were only a few people milling about the store which gave me time to talk to them and figure out what they were looking for. in one hour i met three women who came in looking for some awesome business casual clothes and ended up telling me a lot more than i expected.

woman 1: newly divorced. undergoing tremendous financial loss. filing bankruptcy. sad eyes.
woman 2: missing a child who is around my age. tired eyes.
woman 3: army wife moving from nashville to alaska. has an adorable baby named ava. scared eyes.

it broke my heart. 3 different women. all within the same hour. these poor women. such tough stuff. then it dawned on me. this was my opportunity to love these people. i listened to them. i folded their clothes. i just tried to love them. there was not much i could do, but somehow they impacted me. i dont have some miraculous solution but i think i was blind to what i was called to do. and suddenly folding clothes or hanging pants doesn't have the same nasty appeal.

as i am writing this, one of my favorite gungor songs is playing. these are the lyrics:

Jesus, You're the one who saves us
Constantly creates us into something new
Jesus, surely you will finds us
Surely our Messiah will make all things new

ahh. i love that. i feel it. God is creating me into something new. He makes us all new. that just blows my mind.the God who made trees and mountains and the yellow-y orange color of the sunset chose me over all the beauty of this world.  what a strange, perfect plan.

so i dont know how to sum this up. this was really for my own thoughts to be sorted out on. im not even sure what i am saying. but my battery is dying and my cord is in my suitcase. i think what i am trying to put into words is the need to look deeper into the situations we are in. i feel that God is slowly revealing his plan to me and it is funny how things are not the way i planned, yet they are perfect.

2 Corinthians 12:10

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


packing is the most frustrating thing to me at the moment. i have been trying to pack for the past 5 hours. so far my suitcase has pajamas, a scarf, and underwear. i am getting no where. so i am blogging in hopes to regain my focus. oh then this happened:

ok. this picture sucks. but my mom and i went to get manicures this afternoon and i got this lovely color and perhaps the most awkward experience of my life, but i dont want to talk about that. anyway, like 10 minutes ago at the peak of my frustration, i look down an my middle finger has a hefty chip. chipped nails don't bother me. except for when i get them done to look nice on vacation and then the chip 4 hours later. seriously. 4 HOURS. so not okay. sorry for being such a diva, but i am super frustrated and this is just the icing on the cake. 4 HOURS LATER. ok. i feel better. there are so many bigger things to worry about. ok. i leave for seattle in less than 11 hours. and i only have pajamas and underwear. not good.

Monday, February 14, 2011

birthdays, baked goods, and other pretty things

this past weekend has been hannah's birthday weekend and valentines day. that means lots of crafting and baking. i loved how the wrapping of her gifts turned out. and the yummy ice cream cake. but so much work. i am so tired.

Sunday, February 13, 2011


שבשמים יתקדש שמך תבוא מלכותך, יעשה רצונך כבשמים כן בארץ.                             אבינו
את לחם חקנו תן לנו הים,
וסלח לנו על חטאינו כפי שסולחימ גם אנחנו לחוטאים לנו.
ואל תביאנו לידי נסיון, כי אם חלצנו מן הרע.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


i am seriously about to bust into happy tears. i just wrote the last sentence on my art history research paper. that is seriously a combo of my two least favorite things. art history and research papers. i love writing, but i loathe research papers. it kills my imagination. i have spent days writing this beast and now i am done. it is a glorious feeling.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

so random

oh my goodness. so much life has been happening. i dont know where to start, but i know this will be really random.

okay lets start with today. superbowl day. i really dont care about football unless it is super intense and really close. i mainly watch football for the food. so much good food was eaten. cakes, cupcakes, tacos, tons of guacamole, 7 layer dip, brownies, and soo much food. ahhh. soo good. we had quite the little party and it was full of friends, and food, and crazy games of dutch blitz. oh yeah. so good.

and while we are talking about food, i have been having these creepy dreams about frozen yogurt. i keep dreaming im in this certain fro-yo shop (which ive never been in real life) and the dream feels hours long and it is just me eating fro-yo and the fruit/candy toppings. and when i wake up i can taste the candy in my mouth like i really ate it. i have no idea what it means but it is kind of scaring me with how delicious it is.
oh. this morning. this morning. so hannah and i "teach sunday school" in the baby room. i put that in quotes because we dont really read Bible stories to them. We just rock, and cuddle, and change poopy diapers for these little angels. But I do try to pray over them while cuddling them that they will grow up to be boys and girls who love Jesus. Anyway, we had a this little girl who was incredibly fussy and would not stop crying. So I fed her a bottle and put her in the crook of my arm with her head facing in a "football hold" so I could walk around while still holding her. All of a sudden my leg felt warm. I looked down and there was white spit-up ALL over my leg. really? yeah. it kind of all went downhill from there. i was such a nasty mess. needless to say, Hannah and I treated ourselves to straight from new york for lunch. nasty pants/cardigan and all.

then i fell in love with a cat. more on this later.

and like one and a half weeks till seattle. oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhh.

and holy provision! so i have this massive paper due that has been a pain in my butt to write. i seriously cannot write it. anyway, i decided last minute friday to skip aerobics because i NEEDED to write it. i was a little bummed because i can only miss 3 classes in order to keep an A. so with seattle and skipping last friday that uses up all 3 of my freebies. but i checked my email like an hour ago and saw that my instructor cancelled the class and it doesnt even count. seriously?! this was wonderful news.

oh and Hannah came home with grapefruits from work yesterday and i cannot eat enough of these. so, since i have no fantastic picture to attach to this, enjoy me enjoying my grapefruit.

it is so good.